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Better communication key with children

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

Q. After four years of helping to raise my bonusdaughter, today was the first time I heard the words, “You’re not my mother!” I was appalled. I know I’m not her mother, but I really wasn’t prepared for how hurt it would make me when she said it. I need a good comeback! What’s good ex-etiquette?A. A comeback implies you are looking for the kind of response that will stop her in her tracks, and I think that may be missing the point.Her words are a symptom, not the problem itself. Better communication and consistency will be more effective than a snappy reply.The adults — and I mean all of them: mom, dad, and their partners — may be creating a problem without knowing it. It’s a classic communication breakdown, and the child is right in the middle.Most of the time, “You’re not my parent!’ is a signal that:1. The bonusparent’s approach is too direct, or it’s too soon for the bonusparent to demonstrate authority.2. The child’s parent and bonusparent do not consistently uphold their house ...

Zooey Deschanel can’t save final season of ‘Physical’ from fatigue

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

When “Physical” premiered in 2021, it had a lot of clever takes on the 1980s fitness movement, seen through the blood, sweat and tears of Sheila Rubin (Rose Byrne), a troubled housewife who gets her second wind by teaching aerobics.But the show slowly shed its sense of humor. In this third and final season, now streaming on Apple Plus TV, Rubin has become a basket case and has more in common with Natalie Portman’s ballerina in “Black Swan” than a leotard-clad Jane Fonda.The only person who seems to be having any fun is Zooey Deschanel. The “New Girl” star hasn’t done much acting in recent years, which may explain why she’s so eager to camp it up in her role as a rival instructor. She’s straight out of a Tennessee Williams play, always depending on the kindness of strangers — and perfectly toned abs.Her performance doesn’t really fit in, but at least it lifts your spirits, a goal the rest of the series gave up some tim...

Dear Abby: Son wants family to apologize for abuse

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

Dear Abby: My son is demanding that I tell his father and brother to call him to apologize for past behaviors and attitudes that hurt him. He says if I don’t, he will no longer come home for any visits. He lives in the East; we are in the Midwest. I have traveled alone to visit him, but it’s getting harder as my car and I age.His father had alcohol issues as well as mental health issues and was abusive, but has been sober for several years now. I have been in Al-Anon for more than 25 years and still attend meetings. I don’t know how to respond to my son’s demands. What’s your advice? — Mediating Mom in IowaDear Mom: I don’t blame your son for avoiding people who cause him pain. Tell him that an apology that is coerced is no apology at all. Part of addiction recovery is the requirement to make amends to those the addict has wronged or hurt. Your husband has not done that, nor has your son’s brother. Continue to visit your son as long as...

Philippine military condemns Chinese coast guard’s use of water cannon on its boat in disputed sea

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

MANILA, Philippines (AP) — The Philippine military on Sunday condemned a Chinese coast guard ship’s “excessive and offensive” use of a water cannon to block a Filipino supply boat from delivering new troops, food, water and fuel to a Philippine-occupied shoal in the disputed South China Sea.The tense confrontation on Saturday at the Second Thomas Shoal was the latest flare-up in the long-seething territorial conflicts involving China, the Philippines, Vietnam, Malaysia, Taiwan and Brunei.The disputes in the South China Sea, one of the world’s busiest sea lanes, have long been regarded as an Asian flashpoint and a delicate fault line in the rivalry between the United States and China in the region.Philippine navy personnel on board two chartered supply boats were cruising toward Second Thomas, escorted by Philippine coast guard ships, when a Chinese coast guard ship approached and used a powerful water cannon to block the Filipinos from the shoal that China also claims, a...

Ukrainians move to North Dakota for oil field jobs to help families facing war back home

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

DICKINSON, N.D. (AP) — Maksym Bunchukov remembers hearing rockets explode in Zaporizhzhia as the war in Ukraine began.“It was terrible,” he said. He and his wife sent their adult daughter west to Lviv for safety and joined her later with their pets.Now, about 18 months after the war broke out, Bunchukov is in North Dakota, like thousands of Ukrainians who came over a century ago.He is one of 16 new arrivals who are part of a trade group’s pilot effort through the Uniting for Ukraine humanitarian program to recruit refugees and migrants during a workforce shortage. Twelve more Ukrainians are scheduled to arrive by Aug. 15 as part of the North Dakota Petroleum Council’s Bakken Global Recruitment of Oilfield Workers program.Some workers want to bring their families to North Dakota while others hope to return to Ukraine.“I will try to invite my wife, invite my daughter, invite my cat and invite my dog,” Bunchukov told The Associated Press a week after his arrival.The Bakken progra...

Hiroshima mayor calls nuclear deterrence ‘folly’ as city marks 78th anniversary of atomic bombing

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

TOKYO (AP) — Hiroshima officials criticized growing support for nuclear weapons as a detterent resulting from uneasiness over Russia’s war in Ukraine and tensions in the Koreas, commenting Sunday as the city remembered the atomic bombing of 78 years ago.The observance came two months after Hiroshima hosted a summit of the Group of 7 major industrial nations, at which G7 leaders visited the city’s peace park and a museum dedicated to those who died in the word’s first atomic attack. The leaders issued a joint statement calling for the continued non-use of nuclear weapons, but they also justified having such arms to “serve defensive purposes, deter aggression and prevent war and coercion.”Hiroshima Mayor Kazumi Matsui rejected that position in his peace address at the commemoration.“Leaders around the world must confront the reality that nuclear threats now being voiced by certain policymakers reveal the folly of nuclear deterrence theory,” he said. “They must immedi...

Earthquake in eastern China knocks down houses and injures at least 21, but no deaths reported

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

BEIJING (AP) — An earthquake in eastern China before dawn Sunday knocked down houses and injured at least 21 people, according to state media, but no deaths were reported.The magnitude 5.5 quake occurred near the city of Dezhou, about 300 kilometers (185 miles) south of Beijing, the Chinese capital, at 2:33 a.m., according to the China Earthquake Networks Center. The U.S. Geological Survey put the magnitude at 5.4.The quake caused 126 homes to collapse and 21 people were injured, government broadcaster China Central Television and other news outlets reported.TV broadcasters showed Dezhou residents who ran outdoors after the quake sitting on sidewalks in the predawn darkness. Video on social media showed bricks that had fallen from cracked walls.Train lines were being inspected for possible damage, the official China News Service said. CCTV said gas service was shut off in some areas due to damage to pipes.Dezhou and the surrounding area administered by the city have about 5.6 millio...

Pakistan’s former Prime Minister Imran Khan handed 3-year sentence and moved to high-security prison

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

ISLAMABAD (AP) — Pakistan’s former Prime Minister Imran Khan was arrested Saturday after a court handed him a three-year jail sentence for corruption, a development that could end his future in politics.The court ruled that Khan, who was ousted in a no-confidence vote in April 2022 but remains the country’s leading opposition figure, had concealed assets after selling state gifts. Police moved quickly to take the former cricket star from his home in the eastern city of Lahore to the Pakistani capital, Islamabad, senior police officer Ali Nasir Rizvi said. Later Saturday, he was transferred to a high-security prison notorious for its harsh conditions.Critics say efforts to put the divisive politician behind bars are politically motivated and have intensified ahead of general elections to be held later this year. They argue that Khan’s popularity and a large support base, combined with his ability to mobilize massive crowds, pose a threat to the ruling coalition and its ba...

Rosenwald Schools helped educate Black students in segregated South. Could a national park follow?

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

ST. GEORGE, S.C. (AP) — As Ralph James settled into the restored, highbacked desk at the segregated school he attended in rural South Carolina, he remembered the old school bell, the cascading light through tall windows, the Christmas pageant and the basketball court just outside.It was in schools like this one, and nearly 5,000 others built in the American South a century ago, that Black students largely ignored by whites in power gained an educational foundation through the generosity of a Jewish businessman who could soon be memorialized with a national park.They are now called Rosenwald Schools in honor of Julius Rosenwald, a part-owner and eventual president of Sears, Roebuck and Co., who teamed up with African American educator and leader Booker T. Washington to create the program to share the expenses of schools for Black children with the community.It was nothing short of revolutionary in a segregated place like South Carolina, where governments spent pennies to teach Black ...

Racist abuse by Mississippi officers reveals a culture of misconduct, residents say

Published Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:38:11 GMT

JACKSON, Miss. (AP) — Monica Lee sat outside her parents’ home, where a former Mississippi sheriff’s deputy pummeled her son, who died hours later in the hospital.It was a sweltering afternoon in Braxton — the same town where, in a separate episode, six white law enforcement officers tortured two other Black men in January, shaking seasoned federal prosecutors, elected officials and ordinary people to their core. The officers, one of whom also was involved in the violent episode with Lee’s son two years prior, pleaded guilty Thursday to a long list of federal civil rights charges. Lee believes former Rankin County Deputy Hunter Elward is responsible for the 2021 death of her son, Damien Cameron, who was accused of vandalizing a neighbor’s home while living with his grandparents. A grand jury declined to indict Elward and he was never convicted of a crime. The brazen acts of violence to which he would plead guilty two years later were made possible because of a poli...